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I love that my daughter wants to mimic my actions especially when she copies me as I'm working out. She likes to carry around the two pound hand weight while I use the five pound weights and we dance and sing and march around the sofa.

And then? The unthinkable happens.

She gets BORED. Imagine that.

Avery decides that she is through lifting weights and tosses the hand weight onto the tile floor of our kitchen.

As soon as the weight bounced away from the point of impact I saw the damage and was furious. I yelled for Jacob to COME SEE WHAT YOUR DAUGHTER DID and I swiftly scooped Avery up and put her in time out.

While Jacob inspected the damage I told Avery that we don't throw things and that she ruined our kitchen floor. I'm sure she totally understood and suddenly became filled with remorse.

Right.

I showed her the spot that she nicked in the floor and told her to apologize to her daddy. She said "I sowwy daddy" and I could see him melting.

STAY STRONG! BE FIRM! SHE FUCKED UP A TILE RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF THE KITCHEN! WE CAN'T PLACE ANYTHING ON TOP OF IT!

Our temporary fix will be to super glue the chipped piece back onto the tile square and we'll replace the tile when we get around to it.

Once the confrontation was over she was free to go destroy something else. I put the hand weights up so she can't reach them but it's only a matter of time before she finds something else to break.


So yeah. Terrible twos? I'M SO OVER YOU ALREADY.

Disciplining a toddler is a fucking joke.

"Pick that up! Do you want to go to time out?"

"Uh-huh!" Smiles.

No, kiddo, it's not a good thing. So into the corner she goes and after a minute she gets it. This? Is not a game. This is not fun. It's punishment.

This week we have decided to start holding Avery accountable to her actions by implementing time-out since we aren't fans of spanking. The occasional tap on the hand or butt is fine with us but we prefer non-corporal punishment.

Anyway, it isn't exactly working. The only time we send her to time-out is when she refuses to pick up something that she has clearly thrown across the room on purpose. Once her two minutes are up she concedes and puts away her Legos, toast, clay, whatever she has toss around.

I just don't think she really understands that you aren't supposed to throw shit around. How the hell do you teach your kids to quit being assholes with their belongings?