I received an email from the office of our subdivision's HOA today and it had some fantastic pieces of news in it and I couldn't wait to share them with you:

1. A couple of guys broke into a home through the back door and took stuff while the family wasn't home. The neighbors thought that the burglars were movers since the house is for sale.

What the fuck? Why would you have people moving your shit when you weren't home? And I doubt they had a moving fan. It was probably someone's grandmother's Chevy Celebrity with the custom rims. Look, I'm not saying that your neighbors are responsible for detecting break-ins but COME THE FUCK ON. Obviously a neighbor spoke up after the fact admitting that the guys looked like movers.

Does this freak me out? Fuck yeah it does. I'm going to talk to Jacob about getting a security system installed. We were going to do it when we first moved in but flaked on it and decided that our neighborhood was a safe place. NOT ANYMORE.

2. Apparently there is a bobcat roaming around our neighborhood. So um, don't let your infant or small dog or cat out of the house.

Bobcats are afraid of humans. At least, they're afraid of adults. Since Avery doesn't go outside alone this isn't a problem. I do let her play in the backyard while I'm in the kitchen since I can see the entire yard from inside the kitchen. Can bobcats jump over eight foot tall fences?

Maybe it will eat my neighbor's fucking annoying dogs. Yeah, that sounds mean. It is. But Ohemgee they are barky.

3. A yellow lab puppy is hiding under someone's truck in their driveway and won't move. The owner of the truck requested that the owner of the puppy claim the dog.

Maybe the bobcat will get it.