It seems like everyone I know is either pregnant or trying to conceive and I am so happy for them. Babies are AWESOME. I should know; I have one and she fucking rocks.
Jacob and I are planning to start trying for baby number two in March after Avery's birthday. That way our kiddos will be around three years apart and in my opinion that seems like a good plan. But what do I know?
I am working on making myself healthy so that I can handle a 100% natural birth. This means that I am losing weight (I am!) and getting into shape. I am eating healthier. Taking vitamins. Practicing yoga. I am also researching birthing centers and midwives and looking for a place/midwife (MW) that will perform a VBAC (vaginal birth after cesarean).
That last part? Finding a midwife to do a VBAC? That will be the hardest task to check off of my list. And it fucking blows.
I visited a birthing center today that appeared to be very crunchy. Once the midwife was available for our scheduled tour I asked her, "Do you guys perform VBAC"? The answer? "Not anymore but I wish we still did."
What the hell does that mean? Did a mother die during a VBAC at the birthing center? I doubt it. I should have asked why they no longer do them but I was silently panicking about my next birth. I pictured a sterile hospital with my lower half behind a sheet and needles. I wanted to cry in the waiting room of this lovely birthing center but I held back. The midwife kept the tour short- a woman had just arrived and was apparently ready to have a baby. She looked beautiful: tall, healthy, sipping what I imagined was some all natural tea out of a SONIC cup. She was doing what I want to do. I felt jealous. Before leaving the center the midwife suggested that I find a lay midwife because they are more likely to perform VBACs. What, you ask, is a lay midwife?
An UNCERTIFIED midwife. Yeah. Someone who isn't licensed or certified. Yeah, that's great. Thanks.
She had the best of intentions but I was vulnerable. It hurt. I don't think she meant to push me out of the door or make me feel like what I want for my future births is unreasonable. It still stung.
I came home and Googled and found another birthing center in the metroplex and called them up. And smiled. They perform VBAC's! Victory!! I cannot wait to find out more about this birthing center. It gives me hope.
What disappoints me is that midwives are the last frontier for women taking control of their bodies and their births and yet they won't perform VBAC's. They fight for women to birth naturally but once a woman has a cesarean they turn their backs? A midwife can talk a good game but will she actually back up all of that talk with
practice?
I am not attacking midwives. I love midwives. What they offer women is a choice. A choice to take back control of our bodies. And how can I hate that? I believe in choice. I just don't get it. Help me understand.
EDIT: Added, well, soon after this post was published:
I am not blaming midwives. I am not saying that they don't want to do VBAC's or are refusing
just because. I am wondering what is tying their hands? Insurance reasons? Legal? Didn't some new law or guidelines come out saying that VBAC's are actually a good thing and should not be discouraged?
I am looking for answers. So let's find them together.
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18 comments:
Hugs for you love! You will find something, I know it. You have to! We have ONE place here in town that allows VBACs so I'm starting to look at surrounding towns. Like you I'm trying to prepare myself by losing weight, taking vitamins and getting myself prepped.
Loving the sibling for Ave!
So happy for you! :D
Unfortunately it's probably not as simple as midwives turn their backs after you have a c section. There are probably regulations regarding what they can do if they're licensed or registered. Midwives also have to carry malpractice insurance and their policy may preclude them from being able to perform VBACs.
It's unfortunate that so much of the medical community seems to have developed an unreasonable fear of VBAC deliveries, but you shouldn't assume midwives are just turning their backs on your desires. Hopefully you'll find a center & a midwife that has what it takes to see you safely through your delivery.
This is what I understand to be the case: apparently, in our marvelous state of Texas (aka All Births Via C-Section), in order to maintain their certification, midwives cannot perform VBACs outside of a hospital. However, also in Texas, midwives are not ALLOWED to practice in a hospital. Catch-22. So yep, that's correct, if they want to keep their certification (and most people want a "certified" midwife, even though that probably means nothing), they had to stop doing VBACs.
My husband mentioned the other day that since the American College of OB/GYNs recently released a statement saying VBAC is medically safe (DUH), maybe that is the first step in getting this ridiculous certification requirement lifted. So, I hope so!! I wonder what we can do to campaign for that? Is there any way we can get politically involved? I am so dumb about those things...
Hey Lauren... I want a VBAC too... and I'm having a HELL of a time for anyone to think that I can actually do it! My doctor's office wants me to schedule a c section at 39 weeks.. but if I go into labor before that try for a vaginal delivery.. but they policy is I can't go past 41 weeks ... at 41 weeks they will make me schedule a c section.. I called 3 different offices... and NONE were at all supportive of me... and you want to know why??? Becaues I"M FAT! yup.. fat woman can't push out babies from their vaginas appartnely
Ok, so I'm totally NOT a midwife. I work in a bank (yes, it blows...thanks for asking) and any time we have a "policy change" it's because some serious shit went down. I'm not saying someone at the center died because of a VBAC, but something might have happened...even something small...that caused them to change their minds. They probably got sued by some upset woman or something. Do your research, I'm sure you'll find what you're looking for.
I'm studying to be a certified nurse midwife. What I know about the legal implications of performing VBACs is that it is not illegal; however it is not covered by malpractice insurace. Should your uterus rupture during a VBAC or anything devastating occur to you or your fetus, your husband or family would most likely sue the medical practitioner. In this case, the midwife would be 100% responsible for the cost of the law suit that you or your husband would win against her. While many midwives believe VBAC's to be safe, even a 1% chance of being responsible for this weight of responsibility is too much to bear.
I hope you find a practitioner willing to take this risk that that you're able to have the VBAC you hope for.
Hi Lauren - I am hoping that the new birthing centre that you have found is meeting your expectations. My first child, Max was born by emergency C-Section one and half hours into labour because he was Frank Breach - my second baby came 18 months later - totally natural VBAC in a hospital that provides every woman with a mid-wife. I was so thankful and wish that this was the practise of all hospitals. All the best as you pursue all that you desire.
...Ellyn
My mother always said have kids a little more than four years apart so you don't have two in college at the same time. I had twins, so I obviously don't listen to my mother, but I like the idea.
Good luck with your search. I'm jealous because I would love another baby! Not gonna happen.
I really hope you are able to have a VBAC. I had a c/s with my first and it. was. hell.
I never really realized how lucky I was to have an OB who did VBACs with no question. It wasn't until I got into the "community of women" on the internet that I realized that VBACs are so hard to come by. I've had 2 successful VBACs, they were a walk in the fucking PARK compared to s c/s. I wish you all the best.
@hereslizz
I'm glad you were able to find a birthing center that does VBAC's.
I have a friend who is very ignorant. I told her about VBAC. She had her son via c-section. And she just told me that she wanted all her kids cut out of her because it was so much easier.
Hey, educate yourself before you knock lay midwives. Just because a midwife isn't licensed doesn't mean she less knowledgeable or dangerous or shady or whatever idea you seem to have about them. What it PROBABLY means is that her state won't license her or she chooses to remain unlicensed so she can *allow VBACs* and other things that the stupid ass government and insurance companies think they should be able to regulate. Although some nurse-midwives attend births at home, it is rare and very difficult for them to obtain malpractice insurance to do so. And of course a lay midwife cannot work in a birth center so that is why the midwife you spoke to suggested one. I highly down it was intended to be offensive at all.
I believe at least 8 states still do not license midwives for homebirths at all. They can only perform midwifery in a hospital or birth center. Therefore ALL homebirth midwives are either lay or CPM in those states. My state is one of those. I used a lay midwife with my homebirths and that woman was WORLDS more intelligent and knowledgeable about pregnancy and the female body than any OB I have ever met. Every year the midwifery alliance in our state goes back to the state house to fight for licensure and every year they get shot down. They've been trying for over 15 years.
http://mana.org/statechart.html
See Indiana? Prohibited. End of story. Texas looks like it allows licensure but like I said above I'm betting most CPMs don't do VBACs because of the malpractice insurance issue.
And I hope that didn't come off snarky. I'm just very protective of my completely awesome midwife. :) I hope you're able to find a provider that will allow you to have the birth you want.
She clearly is supportive of vbac as she 'wishes she could do them'. I expect her hands are tied by the OB's that they collaborate with- atleast that's most often the case.
Also, "lay midwife" does not necessarily mean 'unlicensed' or 'uncertified'. Most people refer to non- nurse midwives as 'lay', many of whom can be licensed and/or certified (I dont know if Texas license them but even if it doesn't they can still be NARM certified.)
Also, even an uncertified midwife can be very experienced & qualified-- you just have to do your homework. No matter who you choose the responsibility is yours to find out their experience, what they use/ have available, etc, and if her philosophy works with yours.
My hope is that with the new ACOG guidelines published 7/21/10, VBAC's will become more available again. I'm just afraid the change will be slow.
Carrie D., CNM
Hey bitch!
I tell you what... I had my first daughter vaginally and it was amazing... then my second daughter was too big for my 'narrow birth canal'?
Excuse me? HOW do you detect a NARROW birth canal I ask? Fucktards.
So Mini CB #2 was a c-section and the experiences WERE SO DIFFERENT! I HATED the C-section! I know women who say they'll never have anything else!
I hope you find somewhere to have a VBAC slut!!! Keep me posted!
Good luck with it! I can't offer any advice. I'm doing the hospital thing again although I hate it. I sort of feel like I have to since last one was so big and well because I only have a month left and didn't research anything else.
I'm already in a panic that I'll be here alone and boom I'll be giving birth in my bed w/ my 2 yr old standing beside me screaming bloody murder lol.
I can say something about the rest of it though. Definitely get in shape as much as possible. Although I started off heavier this time around (cause I never lost all the baby weight last time) and I am fast approaching the weight I was when I had my son (holy shit) I still feel like I am in better condition. I think maybe it was all the running around/walks w/ my kid.
When the new one comes they'll be almost 2 1/2 yrs apart. If I could have I would have waited closer to 3 yrs and had this one totally potty trained first :)
wild ! there is no place near where I live that will even touch a vbac..but, I'm not even sure that I want another kid so I haven't given it much thought..good luck w/ yours though:D
Hey, this is kinda late but info nonetheless. I have taken an ob/gyn class and there can be some serious, possibly fatal, complications with VBACs. Kudos for wanting to do it, but you need to be in a place that can perform immediate surgery if that instance arises. Depending on the type of initial incision they made on your uterus (not necessarily the same as the scar on your belly), they may require a c-section anyway. A vertical incision has a much higher likelihood of rupture that a certain type of transverse incision. You might want to discuss with your first OB what are your possible complications since they will know all the details about the initial c-section. If it is one of the lower risk ones, you can take that information to the birthing center or midwife so they know what to expect.
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