Today at the pool I did something that I am not proud of and it is really bothering me.
A
friend of mine, her eighteen month old, Avery and I were playing in the baby pool in my subdivision. It gradually gets deeper but only up to eighteen inches so it's perfect for the babies to splash around and, well, not drown. The kiddos were enjoying the otherwise vacant pool and we didn't have to worry about keeping older kids from splashing or knocking them down.
After about twenty minutes of uninterrupted play two girls and a boy came over to the baby pool from the larger pool.
Great. Fine. Whatever. The boy turned on the spraying mushrooms and the buckets that dump water out once they're full and it was fucking loud and that's not the point.
The older kids were swimming in the insanely shallow water. Kids are decidely weird but guess what? They're KIDS. It's like, their job to be weird and random.
The boy was swimming and while doing the breast stroke (or was it the butterfly? I honestly don't know which is which) he knocked Avery down and she went under. I instinctively scooped her up with one hand and used the other one to grab the boy by the arm. I yelled at him, "She is just a baby! Watch where you are going!"
His mother ran over (finally paying attention to your kids?) and picked up her now crying boy and yelled at me, "He's only three years old!" I told her that I was sorry but he knocked my BABY under water!! I stood my ground but what was the point? I touched her son in anger. I didn't need to do that. Why didn't I just pick up my daughter and move to the other side of the baby pool? Kids that age (although before she told me his age he could have been ten years old; I can't tell how old kids are) aren't aware of others and he probably couldn't see well since his head was under water. He could have been a special needs child. His mother was right to call me out on it. And she could have decked me so I'm relieved that she didn't physically attack me.
Why did I feel the need to behave this way? I'm no bully. If I'm going to be an asshole I should direct it at people my age and not some random three year old.
If anyone ever touched my kid I would flip out and that person would be in a world of hurt. But that isn't the point. The point is that I did something that I should have NEVER EVER EVER done. And I am ashamed of my behavior.
There is nothing else I can say about this except that it will never happen again. I need to remember that I am not THAT mom. I hate that mom and sohelpmegod I will not become that mom. That isn't me.
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11 comments:
Although it wasn't the best way to react, you were protecting your BABY. You did what came instinctively. As did his mother. It happened, you're still awesome, keep your head up.
Hoo-boy! Don't mess with other people's children. You were protecting Avery (parent win!) but so was the other mom protecting her child. Don't be too hard on yourself, it was a reaction and you didn't hurt the little delinquent (whose mom was not watching him closely enough, parent fail), you just scared him. A lesson learned. You are fine. MDA
Wow.
I think that you reacted on an instinct. Save your baby, was all your brain could focus on.
And while that still doesn't make it ok, which you're fully aware of, you didn't HIT the kid. You grabbed him by his arm and yelled at him. Something that probably scared the crap out of both him and his mother.
Having a 3 year old myself (almost 4, lord how time flies), I can understand looking away not feeling the need to supervise her at all times. I've had to yell several times, when out in public "watch out for the baby!" (usually at the WIC office or somewhere similar). I can see how the mother wasn't able to keep up with her kid, the older ones are a lot busier than the babies. BUT, when there are babies around, I usually pay WAY more attention.
If you had grabbed my kids arm, and raised your voice at my kid, I probably would have reacted the exact same way that the woman did. I probably would have been like "WTF LADY?!", and when you explained that she knocked down your baby, I would have told her to apologize, but probably been so pissed at you I wouldn't have been able to say another word to you without starting a fight. I probably would have walked away, and made us leave the park.
I'm trying to see this from all sides, ya know? And eithe way, its a sucky thing that happened. Sucky that her kid knocked yours down. Sucky that you yelled at her kid. Suck suck sucky.
But you learned from it. And I bet the other mother did too. And hopefully the 3 year old won't be knocking down any more babies :)
Well, at least you are a big enough person to admit that to yourself (and um, the world). But I can't say I wouldn't have done the same thing instinctively, so no hatin' here. *xx*
Oh man. I agree with the other posters: it's obvious you just acted on instinct but now that it's happened, next time you'll instinctively NOT react that way, KWIM?
I am pretty hard on people who are mean/jerky to my kids, whether they do it intentionally or not so believe me when I say that you are not a bad person. You made a mistake & you learned from it.
and I totally forgot to say that it's ok to yell at other people's kids if they are teenagers or if they are destroying property or hurting somebody (if they're parents cannot be found or if they're parents are assholes). I do it ALL the time. I am that bitchy mom that has 6 kids and doesn't have time to deal with other people's kid's crap, haha.
I'd have to agree that it wasn't the best way to react but you KNOW that. And I'm impressed that you even posted about it lol but it was your instinct to protect your baby which is completely understandable! I have a 4 year old brother and when we're at the pool especially in the "you probably won't drown area" my Mom doesn't have her eye on him at ALL times. And I don't think she's a bad mom for that either.
What would you have done if she physically attacked you? I could SOOO see you kicking some ass!
My lil cousin who's 5 got punched in the nose at the park a while back and my Aunt went ape shit for a split second I thought that she was going to punch someone in the nose! After the fact it was semi hilarious {the way he acted not A getting punched in the nose!}
You reacted out of fear. Sure your logical brain (when calm) knew that your baby was fine... the second her head went under water.. your instincts said she's NOT fine. It was fear... and nothing more.
Embarrassing after the fact? Probably. And had you been the other mother you would have reacted the same way if someone had grabbed your child.
Don't beat yourself up.
You aren't that mom and you won't be! Natural insticts are crazy things love a dove!
This is why I can't take my eyes of my 3 year old. She wouldn't have knocked Avery over. She would've stolen her away and tried to take her home. Never underestimate a 3 year old!
Ohhh, I've been on the receiving end of "one of those moms" with my older son (who has special needs). Boy are there some bitches out there!
I don't think what you did really qualifies. That was pure instinct. It wasn't like he pushed her in the sandbox, this was face first in a pool.
I'm afraid I may have had my own "that" mom experience the other day at one of those BounceU places. These 4 and 5 year old kids kept pushing my 2 1/2 year old out of the way, or just crawled right over him up the stairs to this slide. Scared him and he kept trying to crawl down backwards. I had to actually block the slide from like 5 kids trying to climb over him. If my looks could have killed.
We were hyper-careful with our older son b/c of his special needs, which sometimes caused him to be aggressive. I was a big time hoverer b/c I was always afraid he would do something impulsively and another kid would be in the way.
Anyway, with a "typical" kid now I find myself surprised that other parents just let their kids run wild.
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