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ARCHIVES
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2011
(21)
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January
(17)
- Is this what you do with your spare time?
- Longing.
- Blah blah running blah blah blah.
- Real men don't puke.*
- Head trauma
- A break. But not really.
- Imma run my ass off.
- I'm a saucy broad
- The fumes are a bonus.
- Everybody poops.
- Take a trip up the river!
- New socks.
- If you love me you'll do the following:
- A day in the life
- This is why wives kill their husbands.
- I resolve to rock your face off.
- Fuck yeah, twenty-eleven!
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January
(17)
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2010
(159)
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December
(15)
- I want my MTV! And HGTV! And A&E! And E!
- A room fit for a child who is going to leave me so...
- Aftermath
- Merry Christmas!
- Dream big.
- Knock knock. Who's there? ASS RASH.
- Webcam dump.
- Call me Santa, bitch.
- Did something die in your mouth?
- It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas!
- Strangers with candy.
- An unnecessarily large television: I haz it.
- I've been a good girl this year!
- The more you know.
- Toddler Terrorism
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June
(12)
- It's called IRRATIONAL fear for a reason.
- Your vote counts.
- The boob tube.
- Don't you DARE touch my tomato plants.
- Happy Father's Day
- TEST!
- Apparently you CAN use tofu for everything
- A weed among the flowers
- No, it's never fallen out. At least, not in huge c...
- Want to see me make a big deal out of something sm...
- Narcissis would be proud
- Hey bartender!
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December
(15)
WHO?
- Lauren
- I'm a native Texan who doesn't eat meat. My husband is tall and my daughter is cute. I am loud but I'm shy. I write because I HAVE to write. I love heavy metal and wanted to name my kid "Metallica" but my husband vetoed it.








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