Thursday, May 13, 2010
Not the one who got away.
When I watch Glee it reminds me of high school. Obviously.
I was not in choir (and we didn't have show choir) but I was in orchestra which is kind of the same thing. Us orch-dorks were a tightly knit group. We hung out together before and after school and over four years we developed deep friendships that would last forever.
That last line is bullshit. I am currently only friends with ONE person I met in orchestra.
I digress.
There was a bass player named Mike Hunt* and he was my friend. We met in the ninth grade and while we were polar opposites we somehow clicked. During our sophomore year he got a car, a silver Ford Mustang, and I felt like royalty when he would pull up to my house in that thing.
He wasn't my type. At fifteen I didn't have a type but I knew he wasn't it. I was loud and expressed myself with my hot pink hair and band tee shirts and was attracted to the douchebags that played guitar in the cafeteria during lunch who usually ended up dating cheerleaders. Of course the rock star gets the hot chick and the artsy weird girl is left with, what? Nothing.
Oh yeah, friends. Oodles of guy FRIENDS. Like Mike.
He was an unknown in school until we went to homecoming together. We were sitting in his car and even though we were "just friends" I was still nervous about asking him to the dance. Yes, I asked him. He was so shy that there was no way that he was going to work up the nerve to ask anyone which meant that he was all mine. At the time I just wanted to go with a friend and have a good time dancing and getting into G-rated mischief.
After that people, and by people I mean GIRLS, kept coming up to me asking about Mike. Yes, he's cute, I agree. Yes, his eyes are very pretty. Yes, his smile gives me butterflies. Yes, I like him too.
Wait. What? I developed a crush on Mike and it was a doozy. Every time we hung out alone (which was a lot because by this point we were best friends) I wanted to tell him that I liked him. Or kiss him. Or hold his hand. Or cry.
I had never had a boyfriend or even kissed a boy so I didn't know what to do with my feelings. It was eating me alive. I didn't want it to ruin our friendship but part of me didn't care. I just wanted him to know. I needed to get it out of my head and into the universe.
And then Mike announced to me that he liked my best friend. And I died. Thankfully she didn't return the feelings but another one of our friends expressed interest in him and he went for it.
I eventually told him how I felt but it didn't matter. He wasn't my friend anymore. His girlfriend was jealous and I didn't want to deal with her. I don't remember the crush but I do remember how good it felt to have such a good friend who didn't try to sleep with me. Once I got out of high school I couldn't find a platonic male friendship to save my life.
I don't miss Mike or any of the friends I lost along the way but I will always keep those warm fuzzies with me because I am a shitty friend and have to make new ones all the time.
* Mike Hunt is not his real name. Say it out loud, you asshole.
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6 comments:
I understand that feeling.
Ok I never ever Comment which I know makes me a horrible reader and all but I just wanted to tell you I love this. Really REALLY love this. It's so relatable. Especially the last few lines of how you will keep those memories and always have to make new friends bc you're a shitty friend. I don't know if you are or not but those words just hit me. Um, I need to make new friends a lot too. Shit.
:) thanks for sharing this story!
Awww..I was an art geek and in love with the same boy, my best friend from 4th grade to senior year when he finally got a gf and everyone asked why we broke up. We were that inseperable. I rarely talk to him now and I have never told him about it but EVERYONE knew, like everyone. Even though I didn't tell him he had to know! I read this as Adam (hahaha j/k)
HAHAHA Mike Hunt...is it immature that I think that is hilarious?
I think this is a very eloquent way to say it "I don't miss Mike or any of the friends I lost along the way but I will always keep those warm fuzzies with me"
I don't know why but I don't miss any of my friends I've grown away from either. I feel like they were there at that time and we were great and that was that.
Wow yeah I remember those days. I was in both the chorus and the Drama club. Somehow even with the AV club added in there I still managed to get the class slut status **smiles demurely** Anyway, I had a bunch of guy friends that I hung around with constantly. I was the geeky slut that could rattle off Pink Floyd lyrics and Star Wars/Trek quotes. I have a few good memories but mostly crappy ones. Half my guy friends just wanted in my pants and the ones who didn't turned out gay. LOL There was this one guy though that was friends but just wouldn't go there with me. I adored him all the way through school. Years later I still consider him my big High School crush and Not only am I FB friends with his whole family but his wife too. The crush is gone now but every once in a while it is nice to think back to that rush I got whenever we were together.
I am always so late posting comments. STILL laughing about Mike Hunt. I love this post. I have grown away from most of the people that circumstance of our parents living near each other threw me together with and am much happier with the people I find to be around. Or not. Cause I am a shitty friend. An even worse one now that I have a kid. One who has to do things like eat and sleep in a somewhat regular fashion. Which interferes with me being a great friend most of the time. I assume everyone gets that and still loves me anyway. Or at least likes me. Whatever. I am partly who I am because of the experiences I had with those people. Thanks fuckers!
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