MOMMY IS ROCK N ROLL HAS MOVED!
UPDATE: The folks at BHG have updated the article by removing the breastfeeding "commandment" and issued an apology. It's too little too late because it received over 800 comments and thousands more page views before it was removed. If you missed the part where she talks about nursing at the table fret not because I included the quote below.
Tonight an article on the Better Homes and Gardens site was tweeted and since it was called "The 10 commandments of dining with little kids" I assumed it would be a well-written advice piece written by a mom to help parents have pleasant outings at restaurants with our children.
It was not. It was a fluff piece written by a woman who doesn't even have children.
Yeah, before I had Avery I was a great parent too.
Most of the "commandments" are obvious like "thou shall try to squell high-pitched screaming" and "thou shall calmly discourage food fights." Well, no shit. (Also, isn't it quell? I don't think that squell is a real word.)
The commandment that is causing all of the fuss is "thou shalt not breast feed at the table." The author goes on to suggest taking your nursling into the bathroom to eat because some upscale restrooms are really nice.
Are you kidding me? Avery is past the age of nursing during meals but it wasn't that long ago when she would reach for me from the highchair and I would take a scarf and cover up just enough to be "discreet." And then I would continue to eat my meal with my free hand. I would chat, enjoy the company of the others at my table, and when she was finished or she had fallen asleep I would tuck my breast back into my shirt and either hold my sleeping child or put her back into her highchair.
I have never had anyone say anything to me about it. Jacob and I have a friend who is not necessarily anti-breastfeeding but he's kind of THAT guy (a la Bill Maher). Tits are for sex, after all! Even he doesn't say anything about my nursing. If he did my husband would dismember him. When I need to nurse Avery I don't hide in another room and I certainly don't hide in the bathroom. When Avery was only a few months old I would walk around the mall with another mom. She was very modest and when her son was hungry she wanted to go to the lounge where she could nurse "openly." Yeah, it was more comfortable to not cover up but it was just feet from the toilets.
All I know is that the more I nursed in public the easier it became. I didn't feel like I had to nurse in the car before going into a store. I could simply put Avery in the sling, cover her up and nurse. It gets more obvious the bigger she gets but I don't show my breast because I know how square people are.
It doesn't matter to me if a woman nurses her baby without covering up. Who the hell cares?! And yeah it is as easy as STOP LOOKING. In my entire life I have only noticed a handful of women nursing. It is happening all around you and we're just so good at it that you don't notice.
If you think that mothers should cover up while nursing I ask you to think about why you feel this way because it is no doubt from a warped sense of the proper usage for breasts or your own feeling of inadequacy.
Actually I don't mean that shit. I know that women are sexualized and it's been indoctrinated into our brains that we are for the pleasure of men and not for birthing and nursing children.
We are both. And that's pretty cool. And if you leave a comment comparing nursing to taking a shit or having sex I am going to delete it. Because nursing = eating.
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12 comments:
yeah , that article pissed me off too! I don't care how nice the 'effing bathroom is I'm not feeding my kid in there!
Love your response. So true.
Ugh!That woman is an IDIOT!I am really pissed at Better Homes and Gardens for letting this woman spout her stupidity.I will no longer be buying their magazine that's for damn sure!She has some good points but the breastfeeding "advice" just sent me over the freaking edge!Shame on her.I feel bad for her future children.And since I haven't had my morning coffee yet I'll say it:She's a cunt!
I didn't see the breastfeeding commandment as part of the original post, rather left by a commenter. This isn't to say I agree with the comment, but just to clarify. I was a breastfeeding Mom and think going into a bathroom is unacceptable.
Seriously people are dumb asses.
I would nurse anywhere. I have never had a problem with my boobs and wasn't going to start having one when I was using them for what they were made for. The women is an idiot and the blog was even fixed and they took out the breastfeeding part. BHG knows they just crossed a serious line.
I'm really bothered by people being uncomfortable with nursing, the most natural thing there is, and wanting women to hide in a room ashamed. I wasn't able to nurse Babe, I tried and tried and tired but he was not having it. It made me so sad, but anyway what he DOES like is to be held across my body (like he would if he was nursing) and under a receiving blanket. It has put him right to sleep since the beginning and still works. Point of ramble people give me 'that look' when I'm sitting there or walking around with him like that as if I am. They give me nasty looks, shocked looks and did you just see that looks. It's ridiculous, let women feed their children wherever they want and don't make it shameful!
Hi Lauren,
I just wanted to comment to let you know that we read your post and the comments. We understand your concerns about the post and we are very sorry it was published. It never should have happened. You are absolutely right--this was inappropriate and we have issued an apology, as you noted.
Best,
Joanna
Joanna Linberg
Assistant Editor
Better Homes and Gardens
I just can't believe that article was written and OK'd by the editor, one person can be an idiot, but two; shame on BHG.
Wow. I just now saw this. (Saw you tweet about it earlier but stupid work got in the way).
But they are DUMB. I'm not a mother, so ovbiously I haven't breastfed. But really? Take it to the bathroom? Outrageous.
Nice response. I love that you're so outspoken.
I breastfed everrrrywhere. Nobody ever said boo. Even if they did, I would still do it, it's food for my babe, geeeez! What an article.
I love your post. I breastfed every where...I remember the 1st time I did in a restaurant and it was a Friend a father that encourage me(with his wife next to him). Saying it is silly to go outside.. you are just feeding you baby. Oh I would like to see someone tell me not to breast feed in public. People just have to get over there issues and realize it is natural.
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