Oh, darling Jessica. How did you know that I would need help with content this week? You are a doll. So here's a simple little meme for you guys to chew on while I finish packing.

Name someone with the same birthday as you:
Off the top of my head I know that Lucy Lawless (Xena: Warrior Princess) and I share a birthday.

Where was your first kiss?
I honestly don't remember my first kiss ever but I DO remember my first kiss with my husband. I was renting a house with a couple of friends in Norman, OK. I had gone out with Jacob a couple of times and met his friends so after a night at the bar they all came back to my house to watch Shaun of the Dead (HIGH-larious). Jacob and I stepped into the backyard to smoke a cigarette and get some alone time to talk and he leaned down and kissed me. It was lovely.

Have you ever seriously vandalized someone else's property?
I have never vandalized anyone's property.

Have you ever hit someone of the opposite sex?
Nope. Only in a playful manner.

Have you ever sung in front of a large number of people?
YES. Karaoke, baby!

What's the first thing you notice about your preferred sex?
Hair and eyes.

What really turns you off?
Bad teeth and ugly shoes.

What do you order at Starbucks?
Right now I'm loving the pumpkin spice latte. Venti, of course.

What is your biggest mistake?
Not finishing college before jumping into a career that I really hated.

Have you ever hurt yourself on purpose?
Getting piercings and tattoos.

Say something totally random about yourself:
I hate eggs but will eat them if made into an omelet.

Has anyone ever said you looked like a celebrity?
I look like Satan.

Do you still watch kiddie movies or TV shows?
Of course! We love Yo Gabba Gabba in my house.

Did you have braces?
When I was 13 I had braces for a little over a year.

Are you comfortable with your height?
Yeah, I'm a pretty common height, 5'4''.

What is the most romantic thing someone of the preferred sex has done for you?
My husband is so romantic. It's the little things that make me fall in love with him like taking the baby so I can sleep in late or making dinner. I swoon on a daily basis.

When do you know it's love?
You. Just. Know.

Do you speak any other languages?
Not really. I know a little French and I'm slowly learning Farsi.

Have you ever been to tanning salon?
I've never laid in the UV coffin but I have done the spray tan a few times.

Have you ever ridden in a limo?
A couple of times. That's something that'd be special for younger people. I'm over it.

What's something that really annoys you?
People who are oblivious and block a walkway. I just want to ram them with the stroller.

What's something you really like?
Swimming, reading, blogging, sleeping.

Can you dance?
I dance about as well as the average person.

Have you ever been rushed by an ambulance into the emergency room?
I have never been in an ambulance. The one time it was offered to me I declined since my injury wasn't bad enough to necessitate a ride in the ambulance.

I'm not interested in taking sides or claiming that I know anything about the situation that I have witnessed in bits and pieces.

What I have noticed is that there is some incredibly silly but hurtful drama going on in the mommy blogosphere. It's gross. I am not even going to name names or link to anyone's blog because I'm so embarrassed by it.

If someone in blog land posts something hateful about you there is a better way to handle it than to publicly blast her.

With that said, claiming that you have received death threats is pretty pathetic too.

I have recently become Twitter friends with women on both sides of this childish debaucle and I have no interest in confronting either about it. The reality is that I just need to get it out of my head and I'll be over it.

Stirring up shit may draw attention to you and your blog but it is NOT the right kind of attention.

While I don't think that everyone needs to agree I do think that we all need to play nice. Common courtosey is not overrated.

We're women, let's be CLASSY and NOT trashy.

#justsayin.

Would any of you badasses like to do a blog badge exchange? I love your blogs and you love mine so let's spread the love. Or whatever. If you are interested or already have my badge leave me a comment so I can grab yours (your badge, or your ass)!

<a href="http://mommyisrocknroll.com" target="_blank"><img alt="MOMMYISROCKNROLL" src="http://i57.photobucket.com/albums/g206/laurenisrocknroll/MOMMYISROCKNROLLBADGEINYOFACE.png" /><br/><br/></a>

I know that on Thanksgiving it's expected of us bloggers to write about what we're thankful for so of course I'm going to do it too. Because, well, baaaaaaaaaah (uh, that's a sheep).

In no particular order and now with less sappy sentiment! I AM GRATEFUL FOR:

• My husband and daughter. They are the reasons why I don't go on killing sprees.
• Meeting and making new friends and then destroying those friendships only to find out that they weren't really friends anyway. Everybody wins!
• Making my first bloggy friend.
• Having unwavering support from Jacob in me going back to school and him riding my ass to do my homework and quit being such a flake and WILL YOU SHUT DOWN TWITTER ALREADY YOU HAVE ASSIGNMENTS TO DO!
• Not giving up on baking even thought I am an epic FAIL in the kitchen. In this case practice doesn't make perfect but it does make soggy banana bread.
• Sticking with my blog and being determined to take it to the next level. I don't plan on making millions or even thousands on my blog but I would like to make some money. It has also reminded me how much I love to write (and read, for that matter) and has redirected my goals for what I want to be when I grow up.
• Dr. Pepper. Just... thank you for existing.
• My brother-in-law for fighting for our country and for my sister and niece who will be spending over twelve months without him at home.
• DVR.
• Glee. Seriously. BEST. SHOW. EVER. But also House. I heart you both.
• Finding medication that is helping me manage the crazy.
• BUYING A HOUSE. It's so stressful and I want to break some faces up at BoA but it will be worth it.

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!

We were supposed to close on the house today. TODAY. Like, by now we should have the keys in our hands and zero money in the bank.

What happened, Lauren?


I explained it here. I don't want to copy pasta and deprive you from getting to know another blog. It's a public service provided by the hotness over at Rock and Drool for all of those posts you MUST write but can't or won't publish on your own blog. Anonymity is sexy. There are posts that I should have posted over there but didn't. So go check it out. OR ELSE!


I'M A MOTHER FUCKING LOOSE CANNON!


We are so not packed yet. Most of the shit we don't use everyday is packed but the house still looks like a trailer that got caught in a tornado. Only, it's an apartment and our stuff isn't torn apart but strewn about the place. I'm trying to remain organized but I am thisclose to just tossing random things into boxes and being done with it. There are clothes everywhere and I feel like a photo of our living room should be in the dictionary next to the definition of chaos. At least it's manageable chaos.

My baby sister and my niece (her daughter) have been here for a week already. I wish that time would move more slowly but it is what it is. We have had a blast so far and I will totally recap it soon. Maybe this weekend when I am supposed to be packing but will in fact be sitting in my pajamas dicking* around on Twitter and watching DVDs. Because that's how I roll.

I have some type of sinus infection or head cold or booger infestation thing going on right now. And? It is fucking AWESOME. I can't really breathe through my nose because it's clogged but if I breathe through my mouth then my lips and the inside of my mouth become raw. The air here is dry so I'm basically a giant crusty booger. With arms and legs. Oh, and huge tits. Mustn't forget the tits.

I am totally going to compose another blog post right after I publish this one and it will have a Thanksgiving theme. Or I'll just do my usual random ALL CAPS sentences and throw in some foul language. Because why? THAT'S HOW I MOTHER FUCKING ROLL!


* FYI - According to Blogger's spellchecker 'dicking' is not a real word. I call shenanigans!

I'm sure that no one wants to read my review of the Twilight Saga: New Moon so I won't write one. What I will say is that it was fucking rad and oh yeah HOT TOPLESS GUYS.

It made me feel giddy like the first time I saw Leonardo DiCaprio in Romeo + Juliet in the eighth grade.

I relate to Bella's awkwardness but she is much more desirable to her male counterparts than I was in high school. I remember going to the movies with a guy I liked and wanting to hold his hand and lean my head on his shoulder. I was never so depressed that I would sink into a hole if I was single but I do know what it feels like to have someone tell you that they can't or won't see you again and having your world fall apart.

I am not sure if I will EVER be ready to tell that story here or anywhere. First love and first loss is always difficult. I do remember crying a lot and writing letters that were never sent. I was a lot like Bella, desperate to have him back and not understanding why he didn't want to be with me.

Being in love is amazing and exhausting especially when you're young. You put everything you've got into it and if you get the same in return, great. If not, you do your best to cope and move on but the pain is always there.

All I know is that I love love. The rush, the tingles, the butterflies. But I am so grateful to NOT be young and stupid anymore.

Okay, just young. WHATEVS.

So there you go. New Moon is fabulous. Go see it with friends. Your husband will only roll his eyes at the screen and wish he were watching something else.

HOWEVER, once you get back home unleash your pent up sexual tension from two hours of Edward and Jacob onto your husband. Then he'll become Twi-hard.

I will be writing a post about New Moon. Just not right now.

Tonight I will dream of vampires and werewolves and love.

Only I don't have to dream of love because I've already got it. He's asleep in our bed.

Oh, and TEAM JACOB!

I think I have the swine flu.

Okay. Not really.

But my throat hurts and I felt kinda achy today. I didn't get any packing done. I did fold some laundry but didn't put it away.

My sister came over for a little while to "help" but we mostly just chatted while she folded some towels.

Today was a total waste. I managed to take a shower today which was really my most significant accomplishment. I slow cooked some veggies for the baby but didn't make dinner for Jacob and me. I even went to bed at 7:30pm but Peanut woke me up at 10 and it's now after 3am and I'm still up. LAME. I have to get up at a reasonable time tomorrow and I need my rest. Why the fuck am I still up? This night owl business is stupid and I'm so tired of it.

My whackjob sleep habits are causing Peanut to have totally messed up sleeping habits. I complain that she stays up so late but it's my own fault.

Seriously, Lauren, go to bed already.

My sister and niece are coming into town today and they will be here for two months which makes me ecstatic!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I miss my girls so much. It's hard when your best friend lives so far away. Before she moved to Georgia we had grown so close that her leaving was so painful for me. I physically ached for my best friend. She couldn't control where her husband got stationed once he joined the Army. While we are glad that their lives finally have stability her family back home misses her and the baby so much.

Rad bitches. Holla. (Uh, me & sister in Charlotte in August.)

I share my bed with the cutest, cuddliest, sweetest...

BED HOG. Seriously. I lay her down and she decides to sleep in the MIDDLE of my side of the bed. Her spot on the bed is either in the middle of the bed itself in between JuJu and I or on the other side of me closest to the edge (there is always a firm pillow or something there to keep her from falling off, don't worry, we are careful co-sleepers). But no. Not this time. She has flung herself in my spot. And you know that if I try to move her I will FAIL and she will wake up and then I'll have to nurse back to sleep AGAIN FOR THE FIFTIETH TIME IN A SINGLE NIGHT.

But she's so warm and cuddly. I'll let her get away with it this time.

I'm so DUNZO! This is the final free-write for my sociology class. I chose to write about adult children of divorced parents because, well, I AM an adult child of divorced parents. We are overlooked and pushed aside and our feelings are not validated. The pain I felt at fourteen when my parents got divorced was excruciating. I was furious. I was blind with anger for my parents but mostly my dad. My mom had vilified him and years later I came to the realization that they were both hurting. My mom always acted like the was the only victim of their divorce while my sister and I bounced around in shared custody purgatory.

To sum it up? IT SUCKED HARD.

The older I get and the wiser I become the less hurt I feel about it. Divorce is traumatizing and anyone who says otherwise is lying. Even if someones partner is abusive or unfaithful (just some examples of reasons why people get divorced) it is still hard to take the steps to get divorced. When you get divorced something dies. The death of a relationship must be mourned just like the death of a loved one. I am not going to go into a diatribe of all of the ways I was wronged by my parents at the fragile age of fourteen. I'm sure that my dad is either cringing or has already closed the browser by now.

My introduction to this stupid assignment is almost as long as the assignment itself. Great. Just fucking read it.


Divorce is so commonplace in our society that having parents who are still married once their children reach adulthood is a rarity. While the husband and wife may have experienced trauma as a result of the divorce the people that suffer the most are the children. The common belief is that once a child of divorced parents reaches adulthood all of the negative effects of the divorce on the child will disappear and this is incredibly false.

Researchers have studied the effects of divorce on children and expected the most devastating effects to occur right after the divorce is announced while the children were young. However, it was determined that the effects were the worst in adults of divorced parents because as adults they are searching for a committed life partner. The dissolution of one's parents' marriage is attributed to the hesitation to get married and once they do they are certain that the marriage will be a failure. Adult children of divorced parents are more likely to get divorced and remarried more than adult children of married parents. The former adults make poorer choices than the latter and set themselves up for failure.

Children of divorced parents are less likely to attend college if the higher earner is not the primary custodian of the child. In the study the father was almost always the secondary custodian but the higher earner and was not assisting in providing funding for college.

Adult children of divorced parents are often put the middle of their parents' disputes if any remain after many years of being apart. Choosing between the two parents can be challenging and emotionally taxing on the children. This is often a problem around the holidays and can cause friction between one parent if the child decides to spend the holidays with the other parent. It is impossible to make everyone happy and the one that ends up feeling hurt the most is the child.

It is important for couples considering a divorce to take a step back and decide if the situation is so dire that it cannot be worked out with counseling or other forms of therapy. Staying married for the sake of the children is not always a good idea because that can actually make matters worse for the children. Every family is different and sometimes it is impossible to make everyone happy.

Sources:
http://www.healthyplace.com/relationships/main/painful-legacy-of-divorce-breakups-effect-on-children-often-reaches-far-into-adulthood/menu-id-63/
http://studentaffairs.utep.edu/Portals/465/Children%20of%20Divorce.doc

This is ANOTHER free-write for my sociology course. Seriously, there is just one more after this one. And then I'll have topics given to me to write about which makes it much easier because I hate pulling a topic out of my ass. I actually found a website that lists common sociology topics to help me get the brain juices flowing. My assignment on breastfeeding wasn't a topic but the one I wrote about education and literacy was but I applied sociological methods to how I approached each topic.

ANYWAY, this one is about blogging and its place in mass media. If you disagree with any of the following, great! I have already submitted it to my professor so I am not going to change anything based on your comments.

But I would like you to read it and give me feedback anyway. Enjoy!


Our world is rapidly changing in terms of how we send and receive information. As recent as fifteen years ago if someone wanted to share his or opinion with a mass audience he or she would need to submit it in writing to a publication in hopes of getting it published, call into a radio show, or somehow get onto the evening news. The internet wasn't new but it was not found in every home because most people didn't even have a home computer. E-mail was one way to exchange information quickly but that isn't mass media. How can someone easily get his or her thoughts out into the world for millions of people to see or hear?

Blogging. The first known blog started in 1994 and the term “weblog” was created in 1997 and eventually shortened to “blog.” Most of the original blogs were written by individuals as an online journal. The writers of these blogs, called “bloggers,” wrote about their day-to-day lives and personal opinions about any given topic. There were blogging sites that made updating content and design elements fairly simple which made blogging attainable to the common person whereas having one's own website required knowledge of web code.

Once blogging among individuals became more popular companies jumped on the bandwagon. It was a quick way to add an element of relatability to company's image. A blog is maintained by an actual human being and therefore communicating with someone at the company became easier.

As of 2007 there were around 112 million blogs on the internet. Bloggers dominate the internet and their influence can be seen everywhere. Some bloggers get paid by a company or multiple companies for unrestricted content. These writers are sponsored by those companies and will often have ads running on their blog. Other bloggers receive products or services in exchange for blogging about the company and the products received. These reviews are often influenced by the company because the blogger may feel obligated to write a good review for the exchange and to maintain a positive relationship with the company.

In dealing with companies and one's writing bloggers often have to defend their integrity amongst the community in which their blog belongs. Transparency is another big issue in the blogging community. Some bloggers post advertorials (advertisements masked as content) on their blogs in exchange for money or products from a company. These bloggers do not disclose their relationship with the company which is misleading and dishonest. In order for a blog to remain transparent the blogger must give full disclosure of all dealings with the company or companies mentioned in the blog.

In 2009 the Federal Trade Commission (FTC) has mandated that bloggers must fully disclose any and all relationships with companies to their readers. Traditional forms of media are required to disclose but bloggers were somewhat protected under the Freedom of Information act and the internet is nothing if not a free-for-all for publishing information of all kinds. Beginning in December 2009 bloggers will be required to fully disclose any compensation received by companies. The announcement of this ruling was a shock to the blogging community but most are planning to comply in the name of integrity. The bloggers that choose not to dislose will be committing fraud.

Bloggers are a powerful force in mass media. They get their ideas into the world faster than any traditional media and are often heard much louder. While information delivered by a reputable source might be ideal in terms of making a decision one is more likely to listen and follow the opinions of an individual. Corporations are monstrous in size and lack that personal touch but a blogger is easily reached. They have a voice and aren't afraid to use it.

Sources:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Blog
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/History_of_blogging_timeline
http://www.ftc.gov/opa/2009/10/endortest.shtm

This is another one of my free-writing assignment for my sociology class. I decided to focus on education and literacy rates in two contrasting countries. It's interesting and sad. Enjoy!


People in developed nations are mostly oblivious to the fact that not every adult in the world has learned to read. If one lives in a civilized nation he or she has access to some type of education. Wrong. The countries with the lowest literacy rates are located in the continents of Africa and Asia. The majority of the citizens of the countries located within these continents are not exposed to any form of education whatsoever.

For example, if one compares the educational system in Denmark to Chad one will see shocking differences. Denmark, located in northern Europe is ranked #19 in the world with 99.0% literacy and Chad, located in central Africa is ranked four from the bottom at 25.7% literacy based on statistics provided by the United Nations Development Programme.

To understand the drastic difference between Denmark and Chad one must examine the history, culture, and lifestyle of the peoples that live in these two very opposite countries.

Chad is one of the poorest countries in the world and one of the most corrupt. Its inhabitants are very diverse – its citizenship is made up of Chadians, Darfur refugees, and other displaced peoples. 80% of its inhabitants are mostly sustenance farmers but the country's primary source of income is from crude oil. Over three-quarters of the 10,146,000 inhabitants of Chad live in rural areas. There are deep-rooted traditions that seem archaic and monstrous to a Westerner that are practiced in Chad including polygamy and female genital mutilation.

The educational system in Chad is very poor. Only 68% of boys continue to attend school past receiving a primary education. Most young girls do not secondary school because they are usually married by the age of thirteen. The constitution states that the government must provide free education but there isn't enough funding to pay the teachers and maintain facilities. There is only one university in Chad and the average number of students enrolled in one of the five degree programs is around 1400. Political turmoil has greatly affected the education of Chadian youth. While 54% of children get through the fifth grade only 36% make it through ninth grade.

Denmark is the polar opposite of Chad. Denmark is a welfare state which means that the government assumes the responsibility of taking care of its residents. It is a member of the European Union and is ranked as the second-most peaceful country in the world behind New Zealand. It is also tied for first place as the least corrupt country. 91% of the country's 5.5 million citizens are native Danes with only 9% coming from other Scandinavian countries which means that there is limited diversity in Denmark. The country has one of the world's most flexible labor markets in the world. Denmark as a progressive income tax which can be as high as 60% for its highest wage earners. The funds are distributed between government-funded programs, healthcare, unemployment benefits, and education.

The educational system in Denmark is one of the best in the world. 82% of its citizens receive a secondary education and the majority of those students will complete tertiary degrees. Primary school is required for all children through age sixteen. Unless a child is enrolled at a private school (13% of children attend private school) his or her education is 100% free. Students attending secondary school receive vocational training in addition to the common subjects found in any curriculum.

It is clear to see how the political climate, working conditions, and quality of life affect the citizens of a country in regards to literacy and education. The impoverished nation of Chad and many other countries with incredibly low literacy rates do not place any value on receiving an education because a child is not going to grow up to become a doctor or a lawyer – he or she will become a farmer or work in some form of manual labor. Also, in a country where corruption runs rampant the leaders do not want to educate their people because then they will lose their power over the country's inhabitants.

Knowledge is power and everyone deserves to be powerful.

Sources:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Denmark
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chad

Apparently my previous post which featured a lame-o assignment I had to write for my sociology course wasn't EDGY or LAUREN-Y enough for some people. Well, FINE.

Here is the truth about breastfeeding from MY perspective. Which actually means it's just my opinion and not necessarily the truth because that would imply that the following are facts and I can't claim that they are facts, only my opinion.

How's THAT for transparency?

I didn't want to get on my soapbox about breastfeeding in a writing assignment for my humanities requirement. I also didn't declare myself an English major so that my professors wouldn't expect too much out of my writing.

Anyway, BREASTFEEDING.

Let's focus on this one part at a time.

1. BREAST. This conjures up sexual images. Women in sexy lingerie, low-cut tops. Skin. Breasts are sex. Men are idiots for boobies. There is no such thing as "more than a handful" to men. Small, big, pink nipples, brown nipples, IT'S ALL GOOD.

2. FEEDING. Eating food for nourishment. More specifically, babies eating food for nourishment. Babies are fragile and their mothers are responsible for providing them with something to eat when they are born. The best and most obvious choice is breastmilk. It's RIGHT THERE. Your body automatically makes it for you baby. While breastfeeding is natural it isn't easy but every woman is capable of doing this.

I DIGRESS.

What is more important? Being ogled by men or feeding your baby? That's what I thought. I think that it's ridiculous that breastfeeding isn't more common in the United States. It's frustrating to use a nursing cover when I'm in public to keep people from staring at us and bothering me. I don't care if anyone sees me nursing but I DO care if people are staring. I think it's rude. What I'm trying (and failing) to say is that it's time that us women reclaim our bodies. Our breasts have existed since, oh, FOREVER in order to feed our babies. As we have evolved as a species we become more efficient; getting rid of survival-based attributes that we no longer need. What has remained?

Our giant milk-wielding boobies. And while men lust after them their primary function isn't to fill a sweater.

I am disgusted by the things I've heard from women who have been told to cover up. REALLY? Did you just walk up to a mother who is nursing her child and tell her to quit exposing herself?

SHAME. ON. YOU.

I don't stare at you or get offended when I see your fat ass squeezed into a booth chowing down on a double quarter-pounder with cheese.

We all have the right to eat what's best for our bodies, don't we? I am not going to get into a breastmilk versus formula discussion. Not today.

Breastfeeding is so precious and the greatest and most powerful gift a mother can give to her child. The act is intimate and tender and women should NEVER have to hide that. We are protected by law so the next time someone walks up to a nursing mother and tries to run her off and make her cover up just tell him to fuck off and that his mother probably breastfed him.

Wait. Does that mean that HE was touching HIS MOTHER'S BREAST? OH THE HORROR!

Breastfeeding is beautiful. Ignorance is gross.

I wrote this for an assignment for my sociology class. I got to choose my topic so I picked breastfeeding because well, I know a lot about it and I am passionate about it. I'm sure it isn't the most well-written report on breastfeeding in the US but it's just an assignment so whatevs.

Enjoy. Or don't read it. Doesn't matter to me. I wrote it while drinking a pumpkin spice latte at Starbucks and overhearing annoying teenagers talk about the most inane bullshit. I miss being seventeen. I need a Delorean.

Without further ado...


Breastfeeding is beneficial to both the infant and the mother and is the best food source for an infant. Breast milk “contains antibodies that can protect the infant from...infections” and mothers who breastfeed can “have lower rates of certain...cancers.” However, surveys performed by the Center for Disease Control (CDC) show that while breast is best it isn't what's feeding American babies.
73% of babies were breastfed at least once. Asian women (not including Pacific Islander) have the highest percentage at 84% and non-Hispanic black women have the lowest at 56%. Over the past decade the percentage of babies receiving breast milk has slowly increased. More babies are being exclusively breastfed longer (through six months). 25% of babies are being supplemented formula while at the hospital which is unnecessary.

The guidelines created by the Healthy People 2010 organization for initiating breastfeeding are being met by only twenty-eight states and only ten states are currently meeting all five guidelines created by the organization. While the numbers are increasing there are still disparities in breastfeeding statistics.

Socio-economically disadvantaged groups have the lowest breastfeeding rates. Only 24% are breastfed at all through three months of age. Families that use WIC and other government-funded programs for low-income families are less likely to breastfeed. Only 10% of WIC participants breastfeed through three months.

The availability of infant formula and anti-breastfeeding mentality amongst poor groups are the reason that lower-income mothers do not breastfeed. These women are also more likely to work full time which means that they would have to pump during work. Most lower end jobs do not allow for breaks or accommodations in order to pump breast milk which results in the milk drying up.

Breastfeeding is still taboo in the United States. The U.S. Is one of few countries that shames women for feeding their babies in public. Mothers are made to feel dirty and that breastfeeding is inappropriate. Breasts have been made into sex objects and people, especially men, have all but forgotten that the primary function of the breast is to nourish a child. The World Health Organization has recommended that children breastfeed until they're at least two years old.

Source: http://www.cdc.gov/breastfeeding/data/NIS_data/index.htm

I cannot even begin to imagine what it must be like to lose a child. I cannot imagine the pain, the overwhelming feeling of loss and grief. Just thinking about losing my darling Peanut has me overcome with sadness.

Unfortunately for Mike and Heather Spohr they know exactly what it feels like to lose a child. Maddie passed away on April 7th, 2009 at seventeen months old. Today would have been her second birthday. My heart breaks for the Spohr family. I never met Maddie but from what I have seen in photos and read about her she touched the lives of everyone she met with a smile and a giggle.

The following was not written by me but by Mary. It is perfectly written and hopefully you will be touched by it and want to get involved.

In memory of Maddie's second birthday...

I don't think there are too many people reading this who didn't have their heart broken on April 7th of this year. That's the day we learned that Madeline Alice Spohr, whom we all knew as Maddie from The Spohrs Are Multiplying, was suddenly taken from her parents, Heather and Mike, when a respiratory infection coupled with a collapsed lung was more than her 17-month-old body could fight. Thousands of people across the country mourned with Heather and Mike, and thousands came to their support by donating to the March of Dimes in Maddie's memory.

Since then, the Spohrs, along with family and friends, have created Friends of Maddie, a fund dedicated to supporting families of critically ill or prematurely-born infants during their stay in the Neo-Natal Intensive Care Unit (NICU) with supplies, help finding temporary lodging (because the NICU isn't always within commuting distance of home), and by creating a network of support.
Friends of Maddie uses your donation to put together Support Packs for families who find themselves overwhelmed with the care of an at-risk newborn. The packs include items such as reusable water bottles, snack bars, tissues, mints, and most importantly, a tri-fold binder with a note pad and accordion file to keep track of paperwork.

"We're hopeful it will make it at a little easier for parents to keep track of everything," Heather says. "You get SO many papers, business cards, etc., every day, and it's hard to keep track of everything."
She should know, she lived the experience. Maddie's sixty-eight-day stay in the NICU is chronicled on Heather's blog and her husband Mike's blog as well. Readers across the country followed every setback and every victory. What message would she like to pass on to parents in the same situation?
"Patience. Take things a day at a time and live in the moment. Don't look down the road or things will get REALLY scary and overwhelming," shared Heather.

The reaction to the packs has been terrific, according to Heather, "We've been getting a FANTASTIC response from everyone! We weren't expecting such a big response so we are really behind in getting back to everyone, but it's a good problem to have!"

By now, you are all wondering how you can help, right? I knew it. You people rock. Your options:

Donate! I know, the economy is bad right now, but every little bit helps. Or...
Let your local NICU know about Friends of Maddie, or...
Do you work for a company that might bring a valuable service to NICU parents? Contact FoM! Or...
Just spread the word! Write a blog post! Send out a tweet! Y'all know how this works!
Mike and Heather's loss is unimaginable. In spite of their grief, they have found a way to pay forward all the love poured out from thousands of hearts across the internet. Tell your friends about Friends of Maddie.

I will not write a post about Twilight.

I will not write a post about Twilight.

I will not write a post about Twilight.

I will not write a post about Twilight.

I will not write a post about Twilight.

I will not write a post about Twilight.

DUDE! My sister is a total Twihard and is the only reason I've even seen the first movie. After watching it I declared aloud that the movie "was stupid but the hair was fabulous." Secret time?

I LOVED IT.

I wanted to be Edward's girlfriend. But only because I know that in real life he's played by a British guy and HELL-O who doesn't love an English accent?

I actually had a tween-esque crush on Jacob played by Taylor Lautner (but who really cares about the actor, right? Not I.) I loved his Native American features, his long hair, and the fact that he's a werewolf but stupid Bella doesn't know it yet.

Apparently he chops off his shoulder-length locks and opts for a faux-hawk in New Moon.

I do not approve.

Aside from the hair and too-young-for-me eye candy this movie itself was decent. I was swept up in the "I love him so much I could just die" emotions of a teenage girl and how everyday is the worst day of one's life. Being seventeen is exhausting and awkward and I love how accurate that part is portrayed.

HOWEVER. Teenage guys are douche bags. They are not romantic like our Edward. They are annoying and smelly and oblivious. And worst of all? They. Do. Not. SPARKLE.

So when my sister comes home for the holidays I know that she will be dying to see New Moon and of course I will go with her.

Just don't tell her that I actually enjoy it. Next thing you know I'll be reading chick lit (too late) and drinking a holiday latte from Starbucks (oops!) while scrapbooking (not gonna happen).

So this isn't going well.

I had an anxiety attack last night. They are getting less frequent and usually onset by something that is really bothering me. And something is definitely bothering me.

I didn't purposely sabotage my mom group just for blog content.

That would be pathetic.

I think what it boils down to is that I was feeling excluded which was most likely manifested inside my own head and not actually happening in the real world.

See? I admitted it! Right there!

I know that I hurt some people's feelings and made mistakes in how I handled things. It appears that I am not the only one who hastily reacts to situations.

This was a learning experience for me. One that I needed. I must learn to handle myself better when things are seemingly getting out of control. I need to take a step (or ten) back and evaluate the situation before jumping all over it and puking out my feelings.

A received an anonymous comment on my vlog post (and it wasn't my mom but it does sound like something she would say) and I wanted to share it with you:

"I can't be held responsible for my words and actions." What else can you be
held responsible? Your entire life will be only two things: What you do and what
you say. Is there is another "plane" that the rest of us have not yet ascended,
to be unburdened of the responsibility of anything I say and do?? You have a
child, please be responsible for what you say and what you do, for her sake.

While I wish you had not left this comment anonymously I would like to say that you are absolutely right. Although I don't appreciate you bringing up Peanut. ANYWAY, it was an excellent and productive comment and not a flare so I appreciate it. Basically what I plan on doing from here on out is only surrounding myself with people that I feel totally comfortable around because I know that I will be safe and that if I say something it won't be taken the wrong way.

It's crucial for someone like me to be amongst those who love me and get me because right now I am trying to get my emotional disorders under control.

No worries. Live and learn, right? I lost friends that I never really had. I am moving on and I hope that they do the same.

Do I need to host a giveaway in order to get more people to read my blog?

What the fuck would I give away? I need to contact some companies about sponsoring my ass for BlogHer '10 anyway so I guess I can ask about giveaways. I have never done a giveaway or review before but whatever. I love entering and winning or seeing my friends win so maybe I should do it.

I'm like Santa. Except I don't have man boobs. I have... girl boobs. Whatever.

My second attempt at a vlog recording was an epic FAIL. So, to congest your reader I bring you the Proust questionnaire from Vanity Fair that was orginally posted here. I stole it from her.

What is your idea of perfect happiness?
Being successful in every aspect of my life. Education, career, family (not in that order).

What is your greatest fear?
Losing my husband and my daughter.

What is the trait you most deplore in yourself?
I am incredibly judgmental of others.

What is the trait you most deplore in others?
Self-righteousness.

On what occasion do you lie?
Sure. I cannot be myself around most people and I will agree with someone just to appear friendly.

What is your greatest extravagance?
I suppose that our new house is an extravagance but I don't think that having a place to live is considered an extravagance.

What is your current state of mind?
Frazzled. I always feel like a cat in the dryer.

What is the quality you most like in a man?
Humor. The ability to deliver a joke and the ability to take a joke.

What is the quality you most like in a woman?
Trust. I am not a woman hater but after being burned by women friends in the past I distance myself until she has earned my trust.

Which words or phrases do you most overuse?
"Shut up!" I also noticed that I have been saying "You've got to be kidding" a lot lately.

When and where were you happiest?
The day that my daughter was born was the happiest day of my life. The end of my pregnancy and the beginning of my labor were very stressful times and when she finally arrived it was a huge relief.

Who are your favorite writers?
If I list a bunch of bloggers will that make me appear like I don't read actual books? I don't read much these days but would like to find time to pick up a damn book. Also, now that I am a mom I have a newfound love for chick lit.

Which talent would you most like to have?
I would love to to be telepathic. Oh, you mean an ACTUAL talent? I wish I could bake. Like, REALLY bake. Martha-level quality baking.

If you could change one thing about your family, what would it be?
I wish that my sister and her family lived closer. I also wish that JuJu's brother and sister-in-law were easier to get along with and that we'd have more in common.

If you died and came back as a person or thing, what do you think it would be?
A liger. It's only the coolest animal ever.

What do you dislike most about your appearance?
My weight. I'm so tired of being fat.

Where would you like to live?
I would love to live someplace colder.

What is your most treasured possession?
My wedding rings.

What do you regard as the lowest depth of misery?
Self abuse and isolation.

What do you most value in your friends?
Unconditional love. That's why I don't have many friends.

What are your favorite names?
I love names that are unique but not weird and nothing that is misspelled for the sake of being misspelled.

What is it that you most dislike?
Post-partum depression. I dislike it A LOT.

What is your greatest regret?
I regret not finishing college earlier. I hate being a twenty-six year old college freshman.

How would you like to die?
ALONE. Actually I'd like to die in my sleep and I'd like to be old but not so old that I can't take care of myself.

What is your motto?
IT IS WHAT IT IS.

I recorded a vlog that I wanted to post today but after watching most of it (it's seventeen minutes long for sobbing out loud!) I realized that it was all over the place and entirely too long. Also, my hair looked bad. I will do it again tonight and hopefully have it ready to rock tomorrow. Isn't new content super fun?

I'm all outta content, I'm so lost without you (Twitter).

What would you rather see on MOMMYISROCKNROLL? Rivoting storytelling or pictures of my house?

We will be closing on the house on November 25th and moving in on the 27th. Every time I think about it I get teary-eyed. We are so fortunate to be thriving when so many families are struggling. JuJu and I are totally stressed out about this whole thing but it's almost over. We will be homeowners in less than three weeks!

This process has been insane and hasn't exactly brought out the best in either of us. I hate fighting about money. It makes me fucking sick. We just can't wait to get into the house.

Remember the time that I told you about my friend who probably got married and didn't tell me?

Well, she did get married.

She called me today and apologized for not telling me. She said that it was a spur of the moment thing. She said that they wanted to get married for them and no one else. I totally get that.

Also?

She tried to call me and I didn't call her back.

So I guess I'm the asshole.

No. She's still at fault.

Okay okay, I'm not that bitter. She and her husband are planning on having a wedding next year and when that happens I will be one of her bridesmaids. I really should be her matron of honor, but whatever. I have actually never been a bridesmaid before. My sister didn't have a wedding. Hell, she didn't have anyone show up for their nuptials either. We were pretty pissed off about that. When my mom re-married she didn't have any attendants and when my dad re-married his wife's daughters were her bridesmaids. My sister was an usher or something and I just sat in the crowd (she and I aren't upset about it, but it would have been nice to have been asked).

Anyway, if she is happy then I am happy for her.

I totally understand that feeling of knowing that THIS IS THE ONE. But didn't she feel that way about her first husband? I guess this proves that love isn't the only thing that matters.

Her first husband was emotionally and physically abusive so I wasn't shocked when they separated and eventually got divorced. Apparently this new guy doesn't treat her like shit and isn't that what we all strive for?

So... I have this friend. And she probably just got married this weekend.

If you'll notice I didn't say that she definitely got married. I said probably. Why?

Because I have no fucking clue.

Thankfully she and her husband boyfriend dude are social network fiends and have made it official via Facebook which is all the evidence I need to conclude that my BFF got married and didn't tell me.

Great. Thanks, man, I appreciate it. You were one of the first people to know that I was pregnant with Peanut, I came running to you flashing my ring when I got engaged, and I usually keep you abreast (teehee, boobs) of what's going on in my life.

BUT YOU GOT MARRIED AND FAILED TO EVEN SEND ME A TEXT MESSAGE.

Obviously you went to the courthouse. This is the second marriage for both of you and you both have children and I don't know about him but you are pretty much estranged from your family so I guess you and he are all that you have. Well, him and your children and his kids. I can't imagine that household. Your kids are pains in the ass and his kids are very emotionally retarded*.

But anyway, congrats or whatever. Hey, if you get pregnant don't bother telling me. Maybe I'll see it as your Facebook status.



*While I usually throw that word around and use it to mean 'stupid' I actually mean RETARDED this time. I've met his kids. Once. That was enough. We were at the pool and their dad went back to the apartment to grab paper towels or something and one of them was genuinely concerned that his dad wasn't coming back. The other one just kept bitching about the food not being ready yet. YOU WANNA EAT PINK CHICKEN? I'm surprised that my husband, the grill master, didn't use his tongs as a weapon against the whiny seven-year-old.