35 weeks down, maybe 5 more to go! I would think that with my pre-eclampsia they'd want to deliver earlier, like at 37 weeks, but I'm no longer getting that vibe from them. My obgyn gives me mixed signals. It's annoying.

I am kind of pissed off.
Anyway, baby-related............ I need to find things to do to pass the time. My mom recently made a bargello quilt (her's is much cooler looking than the ones on the site, I just don't have a photo of her's) and she explained to me how it's made. It doesn't sound too terribly challenging so I may give it a try. If I make a baby-sized one it won't take too long. I'm not too concerned with precision, either. Technique isn't my thing - I just like to make things and I don't like it when a project takes too long. I'm a fan of instant gratification. Although, since I do not have my own sewing machine I will have to do it at my mom's. That doesn't bother me since I like being around her and she's very helpful! My mommy pins things for me and will fix my boo-boos since I kind of suck at sewing.
I bought cubey shelves for Peanut's room yesterday so that we have a place to store her crap. Babies require so much stuff it's just unreal.
Once JuJu's back feels better we'll be able to get the bed and then I can finish her room and take some pictures. Yay!!

Ah, there's that 38. Maybe time is moving more quickly than I realize. I hope so!
This week has been insane so far and it's only Wednesday. I'm glad that I'm not working because I wouldn't be able to handle all of this in addition to my shitty job.
Sunday night my grandpa dies.
Tuesday morning JuJu's back goes out. OMFG what an ordeal that was! He could barely sit up let alone walk down three flights of stairs to go to the doctor. We eventually called an ambulance and they strapped him to a chair and manuevered him down the stairs. He was in so much pain and there was nothing I could do to help him and I hated it. I could tell that he couldn't stand feeling so helpless. After we were done with the ER visit we went to my mom's house so that we could crash on the foldout couch on the first floor of her house. There was no way JuJu was getting up the stairs to our apartment. Last night was awful. The 'bed' was uncomfortable and I eventually gave up and slept in one of their upstairs guest rooms. Starting this morning he got progressively more mobile and by the afternoon we returned to the apartment. He's still in pain but at least he can walk again which is a huge leap from yesterday.
After I got him settled in at home I bailed and went to the hospital where one of my BFF's had just had her baby. He was in the NICU so I didn't get to see him but I got to chat with her for a little bit. Luckily the rest of her visitors had left so she didn't have to be courteous anymore. She could talk openly with me about it and it sounds like giving birth is kind of painful and messy. I can't wait!
Hopefully I'll get to meet her kiddo tomorrow. He was 9 pounds when he was born That sounds kind of big to me. I bet he's adorable.
I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow and I'm hoping that my obgyn will be able to rotate Peanut unless she has flipped on her own. I can't really tell.
I just want her to come out. I'm done.

My paternal grandfather died tonight.

He has been in and out of the hospital for his heart for about three years and tonight he went in because he had an anurism in or near his heart. He didn't make it. My dad and step-mom were driving to see him (it's about a 6 hour drive from Dallas) in the hospital and on their way there my dad called me to tell me that he was in the hospital. My thought was 'WHAT NOW!!' Him being ill has been draining for everyone and if it's not one thing it's another.

About an hour or so later my dad calls me again. I knew it. I JUST KNEW IT. He wasn't calling to tell me that they made it safely, or that my grandparents say 'hi.' He wasn't calling to check on me to ask me about my BP which he usually does every evening. No. He was calling to tell me that Grandpa was gone.

I can't go to the funeral because I can't travel.

I just saw him a month ago for his 80th birthday.

I need some rest.

Another sleepless night. I am so over being sick. I did go back to bed around 9am and actually slept until 12:30-ish which was nice but obviously not enough. My left arm hurts. It feels like someone just as fat as me is sitting on my head. I hate being sick. HATE IT. It's beautiful outside today and I want to enjoy it but I can't. I will not be going anywhere today. I'll just organize and admire the baby clothes. That'll be my task for today.

I actually made this for my sister's baby shower in '07 but it's so cute and kind of crass so I thought I'd share it. I need to see if I can make a knocked up Hello Kitty. Now THAT is just wrong.

I feel like shit.
My doctor's appointment yesterday was fine. My BP was still high (146/84) and my OBGYN confirmed that I do in fact have a cold. Awesome!
Luckily I didn't have any issues falling or staying asleep last night but as soon as I woke up this morning the coughing started and I began to feel bad again. My left ear feels like I have a plug in it and my nose is stopped up. My cough is making me gag. I took Benadryl and now I'm getting sleepy which would be okay - I love naps - except that my cough has returned which will make it hard to fall asleep. I also planned on getting my oil changed today and I would like to do that sooner rather than later but the idea of going anywhere seems stupid right now. Maybe I will just go back to bed.
Yes, let's do that.

Last night SUCKED. I felt so achy and feverish that after a hysteric crying tantrum JuJu took me to the ER. It turned out that I had an upper respiratory infection which is something I get all the time. I got it a couple of months ago and decided not to fill my prescription which in hindsight might have been a mistake.

All I wanted was to get decent night's sleep. I think once the 'I can't breathe through my nose' symptom goes away I'll be able to sleep properly again. The aches don't keep me awake all night. They make it difficult to fall asleep initially but once I'm out I'm OUT. I just can't breathe through my mouth while I'm sleeping. It sucks.

I still don't know if I am going back to work or not. I have a doctor's appointment this afternoon and they might not let me go back, but as of right now my company won't let me return to work either. I'm grateful that I didn't have to go to work this week this I've been sick and I haven't gotten much sleep. I finally decided to do some cleaning today but after loading the dishwasher I was worn out. Gotta love being sick and four-million months pregnant! I really just want to sit around and organize baby stuff but we haven't even started on Peanut's room yet. I ordered the rug, the wall decals (it's going to be so cool!), and most of my art projects are finished. I just don't have the energy to get much done in a single sitting (well, if I could sit while doing it I'd get more done).

The rest of the house is messy, too. I want to knock out the laundry today but I get too exhausted too quickly. I will probably wait until JuJu gets home from work so he can help me. It goes by faster that way. Besides, he's supposed to be taking on most of the chores anyway so I can 'take it easy.' He's usually so helpful and sweet and the perfect husband but when it comes to cleaning he has to be in the mood and he's NEVER in the mood. I'm not in the mood to do it either but I don't like walking barefoot on dirty carpet or not being able to get a glass of water because the sink is full of dirty dishes. HELP ME. Seriously.

I had another restless night last night. My joints and muscles ached and my nose was stopped up so I had to breathe through my mouth which I pretty much can't do when I'm sleeping. My mouth gets too dry and it's unbearable. I couldn't sleep. I took ONE Tylenol around 1:30am and hoped that it would help ease some of my pain so I could sleep. Nope. I eventually got up at like 6:30am and took a hot bath to relax. It kind of worked. Usually taking a bath before I go to bed helps me sleep better. So after tubbing for about an hour I got back into bed. Still felt achy and still couldn't breathe through my nose. I convinced JuJu to stay home from work today so he could take care of me because I was feeling miserable and didn't want to suffer alone. We went back to bed and I think I actually slept for a couple of hours. Woo hoo!! I felt hot so JuJu took my temperature with the baby temperal thermometer (that thing is so cool!) and it was 99.4. Not normal but not too high either. I think I'll live! My blood pressure was good this morning, too. 133/70. That's the lowest it's been in almost a month. Maybe not being at work is helping!

My joints are wicked sore. It helps to get up and move around for a little bit but I know that for the most part I need to relax. So I'm going to take a nap. There are other things I could be doing, but JuJu is playing Gears of War and I know that I won't be able to tear him away from it so he can help me. Naptime.

The company I work for rocks. Really. Based on the restrictions laid out by my doctor my company is not letting me return to work (for now). As of yesterday I am on intermittant FMLA/disability. Woo hoo! This is so stupid. My boss and I put together an argument of sorts trying to prove to HR that even with the restrictions I can still perform the tasks of my job. Do I want to actually return to work? No, but I don't want to take off 7 weeks before my due date. Although, with all of the stress of this irritating paperwork and life in general my blood pressure was wicked high this morning at my doctor's appointment - 144/102. That's really high. "Normal" is 120/70.
I'm just thinking that if I'm not at work where I can pretty much sit on my ass all day I will be at home and I'll get tired of 'taking it easy' and will want to go out and run around and I'm technically not supposed to do that.
Oh, and carpal tunnel is awesome. My hands just randomly fall asleep and my wrists are sore. Being pregnant is so much fun!

I am getting harder to get along with. JuJu is a saint.

I went to the fabric store with my mom today and picked out a couple of fabrics that I will somehow make into pillows for the daybed in the nursery. I'm sure I'll just coerce my mother into doing it since I can't sew. I can glue things and paint things but sewing? I'm not that ambitious but pillows are easy. I hope.

I want to move the crib and the rest of Peanut's stuff into her room but I need JuJu's help and he's working until 7pm tonight so I'll just have to be patient (which I'm not good at).

Anyway, I slept until 10:30 this morning which is the latest I've slept in a long time. Other than my joints feeling a little sore I felt pretty decent all day. I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow morning (woo hoo!) and I'll see if they can redo my ADA paperwork so I can go back to work. If not it'll be Thursday that I'll get it back since their office isn't open on Wednesday. Also, the days that I'm missing because of this bullshit are cutting into my FMLA and that is unacceptable. I'd rather not go back at all but I still have things I want to get done before I actually leave - like take home all of my Star Wars figurines.

Kate Moss is apparently NOT pregnant like I mentioned in a previous blog. She has just gained a few pounds and now has boobies! Good for you.

Here are some 'before' pictures of what will become Peanut's nursery. Since I have a couple of days off this week (I still think it's ludicrous but whatever) I will be spending my time getting it all together. I ordered a rug (it's perfect, trust me) and that should be here in a couple of weeks. I will post pictures once it's all done. I'm super excited! Nesting is fun but I'm sure JuJu is getting tired of me asking him to move random things that I can't lift. He'll get over it.

Supermodel and notorious party girl Kate Moss is apparently three months pregnant with her second child.

I accidentally typed '38' at first and noticed that even though it's only 10 days away from 38 that number somehow looked much smaller than 48. Needless to say this obsessive countdown is probably making me feel worse. Countdowns are supposed to be fun, right? Like hey, at the end of this something great is going to happen. Something to look forward to! I am definitely looking forward to having Peanut - I think I'm just tired of being pregnant. It's been a lovely experience up until about a month ago when I got PIH and now it kind of sucks.

I just feel so whiny and bitchy and I don't like it. No one wants to hear me complain about my aches and emotional duress. I'm sure that JuJu is over it but he's being supportive and comforting anyway. After all, it's his job.

Yesterday JuJu and I started cleaning up the guest room which will become Peanut's nursery. We actually made a bigger mess since we decided to clean out and reorganize the closet. It stores our hobbies - crafty stuff and photographs for me and computer junk for JuJu. We finally went through the boxes and consolidated some of them and now they just need to be put back into the closet in an orderly fashion. I don't plan on hanging up Peanut's clothes unless it's something for a special occassion that I don't want to get wrinkled so her stuff won't take up much space in the closet. Once that project is completed (which will be today and hopefully soon like after I'm done typing this but probably after JuJu is finished watching the movie he just put in) we can start moving her stuff into the room. Yay!! We got a twin bed frame yesterday and will be getting the mattress and box spring in the next week or so. I want to wait and buy bedding and curtains and other linens so that they will coordinate with the rug I ordered, but I'm impatient so i'll probably go ahead and buy the stuff anyway.

OH a funny thing happened on Friday! Because my OBGYN had given me a doctor's note sort of listing my restrictions at work he had to fill out ADA (Americans with Disabilities Act) paperwork that officially told my company what those restrictions were so that my company could accomodate me. Well, it took my doc a week to get it filled out and sent back to me, and once I gave it to my manager I thought that was it. Oh, no.... I was wrong. Very wrong. No one told me that my doc had be very specific about my restrictions (weight limit that I can lift, how long I can stand up before I have to sit, etc.) so my paperwork is invalid or whatever and now my doc has to fill it out again. No one told me that if it wasn't approved by HR by Friday afternoon (the 13th) that I would not be able to return to work until it was corrected. WTF!!!!!? I really wish someone (like my boss, for example) would be better informed so that I can be better informed. I'm stoked about having Monday off (there's no way it's happening on Monday) but I'm irritated that this was a result of poor communication of the expectations by my boss to me. It's retarded.

Maybe I'll just take my sweet time getting that paperwork corrected. At least it isn't my responsibility to find someone to cover my shifts while I'm out and I still get paid for it. Suckers.

When celebrities do things that normal people do, like have children, it is obviously going to get attention because hey, they're just like us! (gets a headache from rolling my eyes too much)

Pop star M.I.A. gave birth on Friday to a baby whose gender hasn't been disclosed yet. I will admit that her maternity wardrobe was pretty cool even though 'normal' people can't walk around dressed like that.

I'm not a fan of her music but since this is my 'motherhood' blog or whatever I figured I'd post about it anyway.

Recent studies have shown that doing crack or cocaine while pregnant isn't as harmful as drinking alcohol and does about the same damage as smoking cigarettes. INTERESTING.

Bet'cha wish you'd kept your stash now, eh?

I'm sure that I'll write more later, but I just have to get this off my chest (literally).

HEARTBURN SUCKS. It is the weirdest sensation ever and I'm so tired of waking up to it. It's like drinking something really cold really fast and you can actually feel it going down your digestive tract.

During my first trimester I only had it a few times. I guess I'm making up for it now!

I slept better last night. At least I think I did. I don't remember waking up at all and I didn't have any weird blanket lines on my face (which is a good indication that I slept like shit). I could have slept later but I tagged along with JuJu on his doctor's appointment this morning. After coming back home and eating some forbidden doughnuts I tried to take a nap since it was only 10am. NO SUCH LUCK. I should have turned off my phone. I had FOUR calls in the hour that I tried to sleep. My mom called twice but I didn't answer either time, my boss effing called me and the manager that was in my center this morning called me, too. I couldn't ignore their calls (but I almost did). Both called to ask me about stuff that I couldn't do anything about until I actually got to work. I was irritated and eventually got out of bed once I realized that a nap was just not going to happen.

I wanted to make sure that I was well-rested and not zombie-esque at work today. I feel fine but I know I don't get enough sleep. It's impossible to get comfortable. I need to be practically sitting upright whilst sleeping in order to avoid any discomfort.

My OBGYN called me back today and I told him that I was upset and confused about what his office was telling me. I told him that I shouldn't be working anymore, and he said that high blood pressure is one of the symptoms but not the major uh-oh symptom in preeclampsia which I do not have and probably won't get (which is a good thing). I mostly want to stop working because I hate my job and not because I need more rest. My job is stressful but not because I have to stand up a lot. That actually doesn't bother me (but I am grateful to have a chair). I know that I will work just about anywhere in the interim so that I don't have to come back to this place after my FMLA is used up and I guess I'm just ready for that to happen.

Besides, if I am at home all of the time I can get away with wearing pajamas 24 hours a day!

On Saturday JuJu and I are going to start working on Peanut's room. I told him that that's what I wanted for Valentine's Day. I'm sure he'll oblige since all he has to do is move the furniture and help me hang up things on the walls. Yay!

My body hates me. I couldn't stay asleep last night. My legs were killing me and both of my calves cramped up and it hurt so much that I could have cried but I was trying to be quiet and not wake up JuJu. Laying down is not comfortable for me AT ALL. I need to recline but I feel weird trying to sleep that way because it puts JuJu and me on different levels and makes it harder to snuggle which I kind of need in order to fall asleep in the first place.

My lower back and hips were hurting so I popped a Tylenol (which I'm allowed to take, thank you!) before coming to work so that just being at work will be misery enough and I wouldn't be adding to it with physical ailments.

I feel like I am whining too much about this but I feel bizarre and uncomfortable.

I want to work on the nursery this weekend. We are hopefully selling the bed on Saturday so we can start moving Peanut's stuff into the room and getting it all pretty and ready to go. That should cheer me up.

I have pregnancy-induced hypertension (woo hoo!). What this means is that my blood pressure was normal until sometime during my pregnancy and then it jumped. Obviously this isn't good. This and a handle of other symptoms can lead to preeclampsia and that's really not good. For right now I'm coasting along with PIH and it sucks. My face and hands are totally swollen. I don't look like myself at all (in my opinion). I am puffy and splotchy and not cute and I was definitely cute before (hence why I'm pregnant now... rawr!). I am UNCOMFORTABLE. My job is the reason for my stress which is what is causing my blood pressure to be dangerously high. I hate my job. However, I chose to get pregnant at this time so that I could take advantage of my company's benefits which I have worked so hard for over the last five years. They owe me.

Anyway, PIH is fabulous because if you go to my OBGYN the staff will tell you to 'take it easy' when you aren't at work. WTF is that!!?!!?!? I shouldn't be working anymore. Why haven't they excused me from work? I have to stand up all day doing things I hate and dealing with people that I wish would combust before coming in the door so I don't have to help them. I have explained this to my doctor several times. I have had enough!

The doctor's office is closed tomorrow but on Thursday I am going to give that man a call and we are going to discuss my 'options'. There are no other options. I am uncomfortable and unhappy and I need to stop going to work. My maternity leave needs to start NOW and he's the man that can make that happen. I just hate that I'm made to feel like I don't have a say in this decision at all. That's bullshit.

I am livid.

OMFG (I hate that acronym and use it only in jest, just FYI). I found the funniest website today.

HIPSTERRUNOFF. Go. Now.

I make fun of these people, too, but I had no idea that there were sites dedicated to it. I can't wait to get back to not working so I can read some more!

I don't know why I didn't start a blog at the beginning of my pregnancy, but I guess since I'm nearing the end of it and about to start the actual raising of the child I'll go ahead and get the proverbial ball rolling on a blog so that I'm committed to it early on. I have another blog which I update incessantly but it is not child rearing-related.

Do you care about background information? Sure you do! We're all voyeurs, yes? My name is Lolly (sorta) and I am almost 26. I am married to JuJu and he's almost 27. We are less than two months away from having our first kiddo whom we affectionately refer to as Peanut. Peanut is a girl and yes, we do have a name picked out. We do not have any pets because, well, ew. I don't want to clean up after a damn dog or cat. Maybe a lizard. I'd like a lizard.

We live in a suburb of Dallas, Texas which is where I grew up. I'd rather live in the mountains.

My husband and I are addicted to hard rock and metal. Our favorite band is Metallica (they won Grammy's last night, FYI) - we love their music so much that "Nothing Else Matters" was the song we first danced to at our wedding. It's our song. My very first purchase when I found out we were having a girl was a pink Metallica onesie. She will wear it proudly (if only I can teach her to do the devil horns as soon as she comes into the world).

We're also gaming nerds. The couple that pwns together, stays together (or something like that).

I have a mild obsession with Hello Kitty like most five-year-old girls, but I do my best to not be obnoxious about it. I do, after all, live with a man and I want him to not dread walking in the door everyday, or using the toaster, or taking a shower, without some HK product right in his face. I'm a polite addict. And no, Peanut's nursery will not be decked out in HK. JuJu's computer will still be occupying part of that space and I couldn't bear to do that to him. Once we get the damn room set up I'll take pictures.

I think that's it....... Was that a decent introductory post? Do you feel like you know me? Are we buddies now?

For those about to rock....read me?

My name is Lauren and I have a hyphenated last name. I'm in my mid-twenties (I would post my actual age but then every year on March 29th I'd have to come back here and update it. No thanks) (Also, you now know my birthday so I expect some gifts. #justsayin') I am married to Jacob and we have a cuter-than-your-baby girl named Avery (referred to as Peanut in earlier posts). She is a gingersnap and a firecracker and I love her with the fire of a thousand molotov cocktails. Which is, you know, a lot.

We live in a suburb of Dallas, TX. Yes, I will meet you for coffee. Thank you for inviting me.

I started this blog to help alleviate some of the boredom of being on bed rest when I was pregnant with Avery and it has evolved into a blog to help me alleviate some of the boredom of being a stay-at-home mom.

Okay, that's a lie. As a new mom and student (I'm an eighth-year freshman in college) I find that the one thing I don't have is free time. I juggle raising a rock star with school, maintaining my home, spending time with family, shopping (shut up), keeping my husband happy, and blogging. I have been blogging on and off for about ten years but I will NOT link my old blogs here. They were more like journals and therefore much more private and very embarrassing.

I write about being a new mom and how I'm handling (or not handling) the changes. I have anxiety and post-partum depression and have joined the ranks of the medicated mommies. I'm a writer but no one pays me so it's my passion but not my career.

I breastfed Avery for over sixteen months. I still wear her in the sling when she's being fussy and needs closeness and yes, I'm the mom that made her own baby food. We are vegan. I am not a good cook and I can't bake so we eat a lot of beans and rice (which I burn half of the time).
So there you have it.

I used to be cool. Now I'm a mom.

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